Dennis Abernathy

Proverbs 20: 3 says, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” I’m sure you could find a lot of people today who would disagree with that. They think the way a man proves he is a man is by not taking anything from anybody, by showing what a quick temper he has, by being ready to quarrel with anybody over anything at any time, which just shows how foolish and wrong they really are! You see, it really is true, as this proverb says, that “it is to a man’s honor to avoid strife” and that the quarrelsome person really is a fool.

There are times when people must stand up for the truth even if it means controversy. But this proverb does not talk about standing up for the truth. It is about somebody merely being a hothead. It is talking about somebody with a quick temper who doesn’t have a sense of self-control to avoid strife when strife should be avoided. It involves intentional avoidance of conflict. The man of “honor” will walk away from the strife and not participate in any way!

The “fool” will not walk away. He jumps into the argument, fueling even more strife. His inability to recognize the potential dangers of fueling the strife, or possibly his lack of concern about augmenting the conflict, is what makes him a fool. The term “quarrel” refers to the actions done by one who is “hostile, quick to dispute, and oppositional toward another.” Thus, this proverb is about the demands that one be humble and submissive, not a rash hothead, who displays his refusal to submit to anyone!

Proverbs 12: 16 says, “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.” Proverbs 15: 18 says, “A hothead starts fights; a cool tempered person tries to stop them.” Proverbs 19: 11 says, “People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.” Last, Proverbs 29: 11 says, “A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back.”

We should be at peace with others as much as we can honorably so do (Rom. 12: 17-18). If peace is broken let it be because of the wrong-doing of others or because of the right doing of ourselves. Regardless of how others behave, a Christian tries to be a good example. Elsewhere, Paul wrote that “we have regard for what is honorable, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight o men” (2 Cor. 8: 21). Think on these things.